Death of a Legend, End of an Era

The final curtain call has been issued for Michael Jackson. For years he sang, danced, and smiled his way into our hearts and wallets. However, he eventually morphed into something unidentifiable. Was he a man or boy? human or thing? black or white? Love him or hate him, he was a musical legend, an icon, a "one-of-a-kind" phenomenon that can never, ever be duplicated.

If you're at least 20 years old, you've been exposed to Michael's music and legacy. We've danced to it, sang it, and imitated it in many talent shows and showers across the planet. We've laughed with him and at him, we've cried for him and with him. He was Michael Jackson, the man in a distorted mirror, the mirror that said to him, "you'll never grow up. Like Peter Pan, you'll always be a boy. Fantasy is good. It keeps you from acknowledging the realities of life. You're untouchable. Do whatever seems right to you Michael. The world will support you. After all, you're Michael Jackson. Who would ever hold you accountable for your actions? Just moonwalk your way to innocence. Trust me on this one."

And so he did. He and that cracked, distorted mirror that came to be manager, public relations director, publicist, and counselor, jetsetted around the globe in search of his soul--a soul tormented by the lack of a childhood and the cost of fame, a soul restless and wandering. A soul unattached from reality. He never found that soul. Instead, he found a remedy for the pain that resulted from his lost soul. He found it in drugs like Demerol and Oxycotin.

Anyone with a reasonably functioning brain should have been able to see that Michael Jackson was a "train wreck" waiting to happen. No one goes from being to dark brown to paper white due to a skin problem. No, it just doesn't happen like that. He looked like a pre-school child's playdough mold. He had no nose. He was painfully thin. His hair was a hot mess. Come on now, don't get mad at me. I'm not smearing his memory. I loved Mike too. But I love the truth more.

Help me to understand something. Why do we humans, when we escape the consequences of an action that we committed, continue to do wrong? When are we going to say, "okay, I escaped that one so I'm gonna straighten up and fly right?" But instead, we push our luck like the gambler who was able to win back what he spent gambling but decided in his warped mind that he's lucky enough to double or triple his winnings if he continues to play. Sad commentary indeed. So was the life of Michael Jackson.

Debbie Rowe slithers from the woodwork and announces that the two children she had with Mike wasn't his biologically. No, say it ain't so! He was NOT the father? Wow, Maury Povich missed a great opportunity with this one. Who on God's green earth really believed that those "pure" white children came from his loins? I don't care if you bleach yourself into oblivion, you can't bleach DNA or sperm. Debbie Rowe, you're stupid!

Well, I guess all that's left to say is goodbye. Bye Mike, thanks for the 50 years of music, dances, and comedy. Thanks for leaving your mark. But most of all Michael Jackson, thanks for setting the music bar high enough that current and future artists will have to develop and carry their "A" game at all times. Good Bye Michael, Good Bye Legend.

AfterThoughts Signing Off....

The Deafening Silence Of Your Absence: A Letter To Daddy

I've worked with children for many years and get to see up close and personal the devastating effects of fatherless children. Trust me, it is not a pretty picture. This blog is a letter from the heart of a child, explaining life as it should not be, when daddy is a non-factor. Although it is entirely fictional, it isn't, unfortunately, entirely unrealistic.

~S. Denice Newton

Monday, June 22, 2009

Dear Daddy:

I don't know your real name so I'll call you daddy even though you're not one. I wanted to say happy father's day to you on yesterday but you weren't here. I'm writing to you on the day after father's day because I want you to know what it feels like to have an important day go unrecognized; you know, days like my birthday, Christmas, and other times when most fathers are around and enjoying their kids.

I'm hurting daddy and it's all your fault. It's not the falls from my bike that hurt me. It's not the stomach aches that kept me awake through the night that hurts. It's not even the dreaded needles that the doctor gives that brings me pain. No, it is the deafening silence of your absence. It is a pain like no other. There is no amount of children's tylenol that can take it away. No, it only grows worse as I age.

It all began at conception. You and mom came together as one. It doesn't matter if it happened as the result of a real love affair or a "heat-of-the-moment" fit of passion. All that matters is that I resulted. You don't know this but at the very moment of copulation, hope rose up and possibility sprang forth from your loins. When you reached the acme of the moment, you sent me bursting forth in search of life. I found it in the safety and security of my mother's womb and nestled there without a care in the world. No, all was well. As I grew and developed, I became aware of voices. Of course, mom's voice was the most familiar. She talked about me a lot. She made plans and preparations. Sometimes she got sick and wished that I wasn't inside her but I knew she really didn't mean it. Other times I heard her fears. She wondered how she would care for me but I wasn't concerned. I wanted to assure her that you would be there to help. Sometimes she cried and the "inner tears" would fall softly upon my face. I first heard your voice when mom told you about me. I was so excited! "Daddy is gonna be so thrilled to know that I'm coming," I thought to myself. But the voice that responded to the news was not so pleasant. In fact, the voice was angry and accused mom of telling lies. I was confused yet, I held on to the hope that daddy would come around. Finally, the day came for me to meet the world. I had been preparing for nine whole months and had the strength to push and navigate my way through the channel of life.

Once I passed through the birth channel, I began listening for your voice. I found the deafening silence of your absence. I entered the world in the hands of a doctor and after God breathed the breath of life into my nostrils, I opened my eyes and looked for you. You were not there. I looked at mom. Even though she'd just endured the trauma of childbirth and was completely exhausted, she looked beautiful. I looked around the room and saw several unfamiliar faces looking down at me. Strange though, no daddy.

Mom and I soon went home to begin our new life together. She took real good care of me. She still loved me even when I would scream out in hunger in the middle of the night. Mom would get out of bed, her eyes red with fatigue and see to my needs and comforts. I still looked for you. You were not there. "Maybe he'll come soon," I often said. Babysitters became a part of my life. Mom would get up early in the morning, wash and dress me, feed me and take me to the sitter. She often looked so very tired. As soon as she picked me up from my bed in the mornings, I would smile at her and touch her face. I wanted her to know that it would be okay. She would smile back and give me a "thank you" kiss. I loved those moments.

When I took my first steps, it was mom that stood ready to catch me if I fell. It was mom who said, "you can do it. Don't be afraid. I'm here." Once I mastered the walking thing, I went room-to-room in search of you. "He has to be here someplace," I said. But once again, I encountered the deafening silence of your absence. I learned to walk, run, and ride bikes. I learned to dress myself, brush my teeth, and use the potty. I learned to count, say the alphabet, and memorize my address. All under the watchful eye and praises of my mom. But no daddy.

The real pain began when I started school. I was in Kindergarten. Mom and other family members and friends made sure that I had what I needed: a backpack, new clothes, and school supplies. When mom took me to school on the very first day, we passed a lot of moms and dads in the hallways. My heart pounded with excitement. "Daddy has to be here," I thought. I looked at each and every daddy face, hoping to see my own reflection. But they were all with other little boys and girls. Once I was settled into my classroom, hope began to fade. The deafening silence of your absence was getting stronger and louder.

Throughout my school years, I secretly longed for you to show up for parent-teacher conferences, for school musicals, award ceremonies, and anything else that called for parental involvement and support. You never came. Mom knew the pain that I was feeling. I'd often ask about you. She would talk about you but with disappointment in her eyes. She hurt for me. Yet, she never talked bad about you. She encouraged me to just "pray" that God will touch your heart so that you would one day open your eyes and see what you were missing. But for me, the deafening silence of your absence drowned out any communication between me and God. The pain was just too great and my longing soon turned to bitterness and hatred. Constant rejection will do that.

I needed a daddy's influence in my life. I needed daddy to teach me things that mom couldn't. It was supposed to be a partnership. Mom teach some things, you teach others. But mom taught 100%. It was so hard for her. Sometimes I acted up and got into lots of trouble because I was angry. I was angry with you. The deafening silence of your absence pierced my eardrums and caused me many days of pain, imbalance, and hearing loss. I began to hear only negative voices and influences. They spoke the loudest. Just like your absence.

My high school days were the worst. With mom working so hard, I had very little supervision and intervention. I drank alcohol. I used drugs. I ran with gangs. I broke the law. I didn't care anything about consequences. Consequences didn't care anything about me. You know all about that though. I became a juvenile delinquent who made frequent trips to juvenile lock up facilities. Mom cried. A lot. I hated to hurt her but I couldn't control my actions. After all, I am my daddy's child right? Irresponsibility was my middle name. Poor judgement was my clothing. Bad decisions made up my DNA.

I dropped out of school and became a full time gamin--a street urchin, a public nuisance. From petty crimes to extreme violence, I did it all. I was an "equal opportunity" criminal and did not discriminate based on race, gender, or economic status. Everyone was my target. Mom cried some more. She blamed herself for getting involved with you. She felt that my actions were the direct result of your absence. She was right. Every time I committed a crime, I thought about you and how I would have welcomed the opportunity to inflict pain in your life. But being the coward that you are, you never came around. I never got the opportunity. In some ways, you are very lucky.

Mom finally gave up on me. Do you know how that feels? A mother's love is so deep and so unconditional that we take for granted that it would always be available. And it is. But everyone has limits and when I pushed mom far beyond hers, she finally gave up on me. And when she did, the evil forces of life accosted me. I committed a heinous crime which put me behind bars for life at the tender age of 19. Thanks daddy, you should be proud. The deafening silence of your absence permeated the core of my very being and dictated my life's course.

Happy belated Father's Day, wherever you are. Know that I've been shaped and molded by your absence. Your gift to me has resulted in negative consequences which threaten my very existence. I was conceived in hope, raised in hopelessness, and will now die in both physical and emotional pain. I've finally learned how to communicate with God past the deafening silence of your absence. I've asked him to forgive me for all of my wrongdoings, even the hatred that I have for you. I've heard that He is a just God and if He is, He will forgive me. I'm also praying that he opens your eyes one last time to the news headline of the day that read
"ABSENCE IRRESPONSIBLE JR., DIED BY LETHAL INJECTION TODAY AT 12:01 AM. HIS CRIME: A BUSTED EARDRUM AND BROKEN HEART."

Are you happy now DADDY? I am no more.

Signed,

Your Son
Absence Irresponsible Jr.

Out Of The Woodwork Comes The Truth: Racism, Republicans, and Religious Kooks

I love to write. When I was a little girl, I'd be in my room writing when my sisters and other children in the neighborhood were riding bikes, playing games, skateboarding, or whatever. I realized very young that words had power. Lots of power. For me, reading and writing offered an escape from daily life. Not that my life was so terrible--but it was kinda boring. Through reading I could visit exotic places, dine in palaces, share breathing space with royalty (except Queen Elizabeth, she's too snobby), or witness blossoming romances fully bloom. Through writing I could run the palaces, become royalty, or be the girl that was the object of the "Prince Charming" affection. Oh, the power and potential of words!

Normally when I write blogs, I try to do so in the least offensive way possible. For you see, I understand the power of words whether written or spoken. I frequently write about politics, particularly on the subject of the breakdown and demise of the GOP. Now, I don't write about this topic to offend. I write about this subject because I'm troubled. It's one thing to see elected officials and others in the public eye become targets of hatred from the right. But when it happens to me personally, I'm fighting back using the power of words! Whoever is offended is offended. I have friends and acquaintances who are registered Republicans and it is because of them that I try to voice my opinion as forcefully as I can without "dumping on them." It's becoming increasingly difficult to avoid. Today, the gloves are off!

I really don't know how any mentally-functioning, sane, professional, sincere member of the Republican party can be proud and accepting of the things going on within it. Pushing Limbaugh (that's extremely difficult to do), O'Reilly, Hannity, Gingrich, Cheney, and Steele aside for a moment, I find others who are forcing the party to a state of non-relevance and to the brink of extinction. Now, I fully understand that there is no way to police and muzzle every individual in this country. That would be impossible. But I'll tell you this, whenever I hear about or personally encounter racism, hatred, or divisiveness from the right, I'm calling it out!

Before I get to my personal encounter, let me recap some of the week's event. Dr. George Tiller is assassinated for performing abortions. They wouldn't even respect the man's funeral. Some showed up in protest with signs that read, "God sent the killer." "Abortion is bloody." The man was killed in a church by a "right-thinker." Guess no one told the shooter that the bible says "thou shall not kill." It also states, "vengeance is mine and I will repay," saith the Lord. For those of you on the right that don't know what that means, it is saying that God will rightfully judge and it's not our job to do so! So, Mr. Holy man kills the man that kills babies. And he's going to heaven how? He's not a vigilante, he's a criminal! Yet, some righties consider this man a hero. God help this country if another Republican takes the Oval Office.

Nutcase 2: John Zaubler. Fool calls 911 and reports that he's going to blow up Supreme Court nominee Sotomayor because he don't want his girlfriend to go to federal prison. He also threatens to blow up President Obama. Sounds like a stable, mentally-sound man to me. NOT!!

And then there's Daniel James Murray. Who is he? Please let me tell you. This registered owner of 8 guns, according to a news report, is known for strolling down the street wearing a cape while talking to himself. His own father says he's sick and has been so for about 10 years.

This one goes into a bank, asks if the bank is solvent, and states: "I'm sure if citizens happen to lose their money, they will rise up and we could see killings and deaths." This lunatic then withdraws more than $80,000 but not before stating to the teller that he was on a mission to kill President Obama. The right-wing talking heads in this country should be proud to know that their mission and purpose is being carried out and fulfilled. Literally.

I'm saving my personal encounter for last but before I go there, allow me to "build a case." I'm a Christian who happens to be a Democrat. And for some on the right, that's a definite oxymoron. Democrats can't possibly be Christians because they're "pro-choice." I'm not as pro-choice as I am "pro- God- will- judge." I am the type of Christian that believe in serving God in spirit and in truth as the bible commands. I am a member of a church that I frequent several times a week. I pray. I worship and praise the God of planet earth. I give my service, my tithes, and my faithfulness to the ministry. I love people and am wounded when we "murder" each other whether physically, emotionally, mentally or otherwise. I don't serve God in lip service only or when it furthers my cause or agenda. I am true to my Savior.

Now, my personal encounter. I have a talk radio show entitled, "AfterThoughts With S. Denice Newton." On yesterday, Saturday, June 6, 2009, I had three awesome guests on the show: Vegas Don, a former gang founder and leader turned community activist, Pegine Echevarria, former girl gang member turned motivational speaker, educator, author, and activist, and Investigator T. Griffin, head of the gang task force in Albany, Georgia. We were having a powerful discussion on the effects of gangs on our children and what can be done to stop the building momentum. I had a caller who came on and began to insult us with words like: "I hate all niggers!" "All niggers need to be killed!" Well, initially I was shocked because that had never happened to me before on air. But I remained calmed and hung up. I then stated to my listeners that I would not entertain that nonsense. My guests agreed and we carried on our conversation. My two male guests stated that the jobs they do is to protect people such as the ignorant caller and his family from gang violence.

As the conversation continued, I checked my chat room for comments. Guess what? This individual and others bombarded my chat room with racist comments about black people, President Obama, and other black leaders including police. They stated, "the south will rise again!" "I'm a member of the KKK!" "White Power!" They also began to make sexual, degrading comments about me and referred to me constantly as a black bitch. I didn't get angry. Honestly I didn't. I became saddened. It saddened me that in 2009, the 21st century, the new millennium, we're still dealing with these type of things. The worst part of it all was that these were very young white boys. I know that none of them were over age 21. I could just tell. But the hatred that they spewed was real. It was deep. This simple response threw them off course and took the wind from their sails: "We're not moved by your ignorance. Your day of reckoning is near." They began to ask: "what does that mean?" what the h--l is she talking about? what is reckoning?" From there began a vicious attack and verbal assault on me because they didn't know what the phrase meant. Finally, one of them came up with the answer. I'm sure he googled it. When he told them that it meant that they would be held accountable and judged for their actions one day, they turned their assaults on God, the bible, and Christianity. So very sad.

Anyway, I really hope that those on the right who are still having a hard time accepting Barack Obama as President of this country, would pause and look at the damage that is being caused. This new generation of racists are more dangerous than in the past. They are mentally deranged, drugged out, and full of demonic influence. With all the negativity that fills the airways daily from pundits and commentators, it's no small wonder that these things are happening. George Bush was not, I repeat, was not treated like this!! It is all because of President Barack Obama that these termites are coming out of the woodwork and inflicting fear of multiplication on society.

AfterThoughts Signing Off...

Republican Extremists: Terrorists In Political Clothing

I was recently asked this question by a 19 year old: "Why is it that the Republicans are always on television and radio saying bad stuff about the President and other people but nobody comes on to say things about them?" Although the question seemed simple enough to answer, I actually had to pause and ponder.

"After a few moments of pausing and pondering, I concluded that although many others do in fact rebut and counter statements made by some Republicans, the Republicans make their points more forcefully, rudely, loudly, arrogantly, and ignorantly, thus appearing to hold the stronger, more effective position. It is indeed appearance only.

I'm not anti-Republican. Really I'm not. But something has run amok in America as it pertains to the GOP. Something has gone horribly wrong. Something has turned the party of Lincoln and Reagan into a club of mean-spirited, hateful, paranoid, vitriolic racists. These guys don't get it. They just don't get it. They feel that it is their "patriotic" duty to save the country from the big bad wolf called Barack Obama and his big bad compatriots known as Democrats and liberals. They intend to save it by ANY MEANS NECESSARY! Let me use some specific examples to bolster my thought.

Let's take the first look at Scott Roeder, the assassin who ended the life of Dr. George Tiller, owner of the Women's Health Care Clinic in Wichita, Kansas. Roeder killed Tiller at church because of his performing abortions. It has been stated by family members that Roeder suffers from mental illness. Couple that with extreme rhetoric from the likes of, let's say, ummmm, Bill O'Reilly, and you have danger on your hands. O'Reilly has referred to Tiller on more than one occasion as "an executioner" but states that he bears no responsibility for his death. Maybe not directly but probably very indirectly. A mentally ill individual with a deep desire to be known and revered, will do almost anything, including murder. What's this? TERRORISM!

Next up, Hal Turner, Talk Radio Host. This crazed individual is identified as a white supremacist and anti-semite. Turner threatened to release home addresses of several state officials in reaction to a controversial bill affecting the way that Roman Catholic churches are governed. These are his words as reported by the Huffington Post: The comments in question included, "It is our intent to foment direct action against these individuals personally. These beastly government officials should be made an example of as a warning to others in government: Obey the Constitution or die," and "If any state attorney, police department or court thinks they're going to get uppity with us about this, I suspect we have enough bullets to put them down, too."
These sorts of threats of impending violence are nothing new to Turner.
In December of 2006, Turner called for political assassinations:
"We may have to ASSASSINATE some of the people you elect on Nov. 7! This could be your LAST ELECTION CHANCE, to save this Republic... Sorry to have to be so blunt, but the country is in mortal danger from our present government and our liberty is already near dead because of this government. If you are too stupid to turn things around with your vote, there are people out here like me who are willing to turn things around with guns, force and violence. We hope our method does not become necessary."
In March of 2008, when Sean Hannity was confronted with having been previously associated with Turner, Hannity's forceful denials seemed to anger a betrayed Turner:
I was quite disappointed when Sean Hannity at first tried to say he didn't know me and then went on to say that I ran some senate campaign in New Jersey. In fact, Sean Hannity does know me and we were quite friendly a number of years ago.
Turner went on to threaten: "Another big difference is that I am perfectly willing to use force and violence against my enemies while Sean Hannity and others are not. Those using me as a prop to attack Sean Hannity would do well to remember this fact."
A month later, Turner was inciting violence against Paul B. Ash, the Lexington, Massachusetts superintendent of schools:
"I advocate parents using FORCE AND VIOLENCE against Superintendent Paul B. Ash as a method of defending the health and safety of school children presently being endangered through his politically-correct indoctrination into deadly, disease-ridden sodomite lifestyles. The Huff Post article goes on to suggest that Turner's actions goes beyond the protection offered by the First Amendment's freedom of speech. It states:"Mr. Turner's comments are above and beyond the threshold of free speech," Capitol Police Chief Michael J. Fallon said in an e-mail announcing the warrant. "He is inciting others through his website to commit acts of violence and has created fear and alarm. He should be held accountable for his conduct." Okay, do you hear me now? Hey Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly, Beck, Bachmann, Palin, et. al. are you listening? The First Amendment does not and should not offer protection for criminal behaviors through speech. What's this? TERRORISM!

Turn the corner with me while I shake up Pat "the clueless" Buchanan. Normally, I'm reluctant to attack elderly persons. I love the elderly and children. But Pat Buchanan is tearing my nerves up! His presence as a talking head irritates me as much as nails on a blackboard, someone popping chewing gum, or a slow drip from a water faucet. First of all, he always look as though someone fed him lemons for dinner. His sour face alone is enough to make you remove all television sets from your home. If it wasn't so sad it would be amusing. However, this is no laughing matter. Buchanan and his far right thinking is a gift to the media in order to stir up controversy to boost ratings. This guy makes it known that he not only disapproves of President Obama's Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, but that he actually loathes her. Consider these statements by Buchanan: "Sotomayor's justice is raced-based. Her career has been advancing persons of color over whites, based on race and national origin. What's happening to white males now is what happened to blacks years ago." Will someone clue the clueless Buchanan in on the state of race in the United States? Tell him that White Males are still in the forefront of every aspect of American life. White men own most of the property, buildings, companies, corporations, high-paying jobs, and more. I guess Buchanan's comparisons to the treatment of blacks years ago was without whips, hangings, water hoses, dogs, arrests, and murders. He states on one television broadcast that white men are losing jobs, education, etc. to minorities. with all the crazies in the world today, statements like that could be the long-awaited opportunity for some mentally unstable person to commit despicable and heinous acts in the name of God and Christianity. What's this? TERRORISM!

Let's step on the curb and set our sights on Governor Sarah Palin. I still can't wrap my mind around the concept that Palin feels qualified and ready to become America's first female Commander-in-Chief. Governor Dum-Dum spoke at an event before introducing Michael Reagan (Ronnie's son) in which she verbally attacked President Obama on foreign policy. Huff Post blogger Shannyn Moore reports that Palin was in a short skirt and wearing red, platform sandals, an ideal outfit for citizens of skeezertown. Remember her campaign rhetoric regarding Obama palling around with terrorists? Those comments sparked an outcry from anti-Obama supporters of Palin that included "terrorist!, kill him!, and off with his head!" Now, she's out speaking again with her palinics, Sarah's native tongue. Her speech was a fifteen minute run-on sentence devoid of substance and full of confusion. What's this? TERRORISM!

And then there's the mentally-challenged congresswoman from Minnesota, Michelle Bachmann. (By the way Minnesota, you ain't looking to good in the eyes of the American public these days!) This nut case called for people to be armed and dangerous. Consider this statement recorded in the Huff Post: Controversial Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) said this weekend that she wants residents of her state "armed and dangerous" over President Barack Obama's plan to reduce global warming "because we need to fight back."
Asked about the White House-backed cap-and-trade proposal to reduce carbon emissions, Bachmann told WWTC 1280 AM, "I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us 'having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,' and the people -- we the people -- are going to have to fight back hard if we're not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States."
This type of rhetoric is sure to rally some cracked up (cocaine) heroin-addicted, demon-possessed individual with access to guns and ammunition to do whatever is necessary to take the country back. What's this? TERRORISM!

As we fix our focus on Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, N. Korea, and other areas for signs of terroristic behaviors, The United States of America continually entertain terrorists on its own soil-- those with the potential and ability to cause pandemonium and mass destruction.

AfterThoughts Signing Off...